Two in the morning. The night sky blotted out the silver stars. One by one they vanished. A few hours earlier they threatened to take over. Now imprisoned, the only light came from the luminosity of the moon. I had come out to be alone. Most often I was social but recently the hoards of people overwhelmed me. I needed space, which I had failed to receive for such a long time. So now I overlooked the city. Nature swayed around me and the nightlife hummed in the distance.
It felt good to let the night breeze dance around my face and caress my skin. The moon’s light brought comfort to my soul. For a time the world stopped spinning through my head. I closed my eyes. Lights flashed. The club and bar scenes waded in my memories. They sped up. Lights danced beneath my eyelids.
I stood still then, finding myself on a club’s second floor. I leaned over the railing wondering why I had come. A rave roared on the floor beneath me. It was a clashing of sweat and high-pitched neon lights scouring the floor and bodies dancing much too close. Someone walked up and leaned over the railing next to me. She was slim, average height, with blonde hair; eyes green.
She cocked her head slightly and attempted to look me in the eye. I didn’t want to be rude but I wasn’t in conversational mood. I didn’t return her gaze.
“Hey,” she said. “I’m Megan.”
I watched her from the corner of my eye as she spoke to me. She was what you could consider as hot in a general sense. I didn’t care. I had my share of hot girls and I was tired. I found myself needing better standards. A few months ago I started looking at a woman’s personality before her body. For some reason I continued to come to an old pick up. I didn’t understand why I did. Now I stood beside another girl like all the rest.
“Want to get a drink or something?” she asked me.
So maybe she wasn’t quite like the rest. Most of them let the guy ask. She was aggressive. I finally turned and looked at her with weary eyes.
“Sorry. I’m not interested. Anyways, I’m an old school kind of guy.”
She attempted to continue but I refuted again, reinforcing my point that I ask a girl; I don’t let them ask me. She stalked off. I didn’t care.
The scouring lights crossed my vision, leading me into other memories.
I walked outside and passed by a dark alley. I almost thought I heard a faint scream but I kept on walking. I should have checked it out. I regretted that decision. At the time I couldn’t care less. I felt alone in the midst of a crowd. I had only just left from catching up with a couple friends. It was what I did most every night.
I paused and stared up at the street lamp. The bright bulb flared. It died down and I looked up at an extravagant ceiling. The lights dimmed. A chandelier hung from the hall. I was in a large house, not quite a mansion. I had been invited to the party and knew a good many of the people attending. I had arrived two hours ago and now held a near empty glass of wine in my hand. I don’t know why I drank it. I hate wine.
The gold and yellow tapestries reflected light onto the guests and they sipped their drinks in sparkling glasses and made small talk with one another. The words that came from their mouths muddled together in a clamor that reverberated to the ceiling. On occasion I would be greeted in passing. Beyond that I attempted to appear invisible. Day after day of these parties exhausted me. I no longer had time to think for myself. I was becoming an emotionless humanoid.
A young waiter passed by, hired for the look of the party, and I gently replaced my near empty glass on his tray. I thanked the host for his hospitality and escaped from the mingling crowd. I avoided eye contact with the few guests who had spilled out into the courtyard and entered my car. I sighed.
The engine rattled as I drove off into the night. I had no destination, only a desire. I needed time alone. I silence the radio, finding peace with my God. It felt so long since I had felt the calm. I needed to get away from the roar of everyday life. I drove to outskirts of the city.
I breathed in the air as the memories flooded my mind. It wasn’t quite fresh but much cleaner than within the city. Grass swayed nearby in harmony to the breeze. Newly sprung flowers reached my nose as I welcomed the scents of this magnificent earth. I was finally alone and had been for two hours. I had time to give my full attention to my God and his creation. I felt good again as the balance between community and self began to reform a healthy relationship.
I opened my eyes. The stars returned, blinking in the sky. It was a magnificent sight. The moon took pride in its constellation cohorts.
I looked to my left.
Time stopped. My world had been invaded. I would have been angry, perhaps frustrated, but I found myself enthralled. I had heard no sound, felt no movement, and smelled nothing foreign. Beside me she stared off into the sky. Her head never turned. Her golden brown hair flowed in the wind, shimmering silver. A light blue scarf paralleled the actions of her magnificent hair. Her eyes seemed to flow from hazel to green. She wasn’t hot she was beautiful.
I stared, unable to collect my thoughts. I wanted to speak but for some time no words would come forth. I was speechless, desperate to express some thought.
Finally I was able to produce some voice in a befuddled confusion.
“Hi,” was all that came out.
Slowly she turned her head with great elegance. She smiled softly and her eyes sparkled.
“Hey,” she replied.
I lost track of my thought for a moment before realizing she was waiting for me to continue. I had attempted to romance hundreds of girls but now this one had me. I had no idea why.
“How’s it going?” I continued in the only way I could think of at that moment. If I had thought straight I probably would have said something much different.
“Well, thank you,” she replied.
The smile never left. It was intoxicating as were her eyes.
I did what I could to continue the conversation. At first I found it slightly awkward. She seemed fine so I deemed that it was just me. I loosened up and allowed my mind to speak freely.
We talked for hours as we looked out into the stars. Before I really knew what was happening we were conversing on topics of life and love, including how to raise a family and how many kids. I didn’t understand it but I didn’t mind. Really, I enjoyed it. I was connecting to this girl like I never had any other. We were similar on every important aspect of life.
As time went on we lay down and stared at the stars. For the first time in a long time I didn’t feel alone among company. I had only just met her but it seemed that I had known her for years. It was as if all these memories that we had shared flooded back into my mind that I didn’t remember before she had arrived.
The sun rose behind the mountains. As light brought life to the world I noticed for the first time the light blue dress she was wearing the flowed down to her knees. A matching colored ribbon twined around her waist to form a small bow in the back. Small white frills found their way as trim around the arms, neck, and bottom and of the dress.
I admired her not only for her outward beauty but for everything she had inside as well. She was the type of person I had been searching for and I hadn’t showed up in a nightclub or bar. She had appeared in my time of escape.
As the sun peered over the mountains we embraced. I didn’t want to let ago as the warmth of her body pressed against mine. The soft touch of her skin brought comfort and filled part of my longing. I caressed her hair as she leaned her head against my shoulder. The sun appeared midway into the sky and we let go of each other.
She began to walk away.
“Wait!” I shouted.
She paused and looked back at me, a golden gleam now in her eyes.
“What’s your name?”
“I don’t have one,” she replied, her loving smile still on her lips.
“But how will I find you again?” I pleaded, desperate not to lose her.
“You will find me if you need me again.”
She walked away, disappearing into the sunrise shadows. I greatly desired to go after her but I couldn’t force my body to follow.
I wanted to feel despair and grief but instead I felt hope and life. There was something about that encounter with her that rekindled my spirits. I knew that she was the type of girl I was looking for. Maybe I wouldn’t be with her, maybe someone else, but I was enlightened.
The girl with no name helped me see.