Tuesday, July 5, 2016

30 Before 30: Day 16 - Marketing of Love


Ah, yes, the thing that makes the world go round. "All you need is love." But what is love?

Let's look at a definition -

According to Google:
1. an intense feeling of deep affection (noun).
2. a deep romantic or sexual attraction to someone (noun).

1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attraction to (someone) (verb).
2. like very much, find pleasure in (verb).

1a. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
1b. attraction based on sexual desire
1c. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
2. arm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3. the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
4. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

Now, the Greeks had 6 different words for love:

Eros or sexual passion
Philia or deep friendship
Ludus or playful love
Agape or selfless love, a love for everyone
Pragma or longstanding love
Philautia or self-love

Now, let's add one more thing interesting about love that came out of a book written by Gary Chapman that has a certain amount of weight in it's concept: The 5 Love Languages.

He says that there are 5 different types of love languages:

1. Gifts
2. Quality Time
3. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

At one time or another I have received all 5 of these from people, especially my family, and everybody has their own mix of these of what makes them feel loved (I have recently realized how important physical touch is in my life, depending on the people of course).

So what's the point of all this, why did I just give you a bunch of information on the ideas of love?

Well, it's because I'm highly dissatisfied with the way that love has been marketed. I'm sure that if you watch most media you'll notice that love is almost always sold as romantic. 

The problem: this starts to give across the idea that romantic love is the only kind of love.

There is nothing wrong with romance. I myself am a romantic at heart but if the only kind of love is romantic then the only purpose of me talking to any woman on the planet should be to try and start a romantic relationship with her... and where does that leave my mom and sister?

Yeah, exactly. 

It doesn't make sense. Now, there is media that dives into the other side of love but it's not as common and even less commonly promoted. Take Valentine's Day for example. It's a day that celebrates love... but it's become a day that celebrates romantic love. There is no reason it shouldn't be a day to celebrate the love of family and friends.

We all need love. And not just romantic love.

It's fine to seek out romance but that doesn't mean you can't be friends with that person if a romance would not work out. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll be friends if you continue to be attracted in a romantic way, as that usually doesn't work out well, but throwing away a relationship where you have a mutual interest just because there is nothing romantic could be harmful. Even then it takes some discerning as there is always a line and unfortunately today with a highly sexualized media culture and underlying rape culture it is getting infused in the subconscious of men that women are objects, not people.

Relationship. There's another word that always get the wrong meaning. Today it always means romantic. But why can't you have a relationship that's a friend, a family member, an acquaintance. There are different types of relationships.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is we need to re-approach the way we look at love. 

We need to understand what makes us more than just biological creatures. We need to understand that love is about all people, not just one person.

Yes, there is love and it is also found with friends and family.

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