30 Before 30: Day 25 - Castles

I've always loved castles. And fantasy. Lots of fantasy have castles. 

Very old castles. Ancient.

Last fall I finally got the opportunity to achieve one of my dreams... visit castles. After a very well planned trip, I went off to Ireland and Scotland for 2 weeks total. The first castle I saw; Trim Castle.

It turns out, this is actually where they filmed many scenes of Braveheart, even though the film takes place in Scotland.

I definitely would say that I was very fortunate to go on this trip. I saw SO many castles, among other things. But the castles for me were the fulfillment of a childhood dream. Especially growing up on Narnia and fairy tales, there was something about ancient castles, especially castle ruins, that have fascinated me. 

I remember when I was in elementary school building a model of a castle out of old cardboard and discarded tubes from toilet paper and paper towel. At least, that's my memory. For all I know that was actually a dream. But I'm pretty sure I did that. I just I loved castles. 

And there was just something in the history of those castles, something special, something unique that you just don't find quite anywhere else. While on the trip, when we got halfway through Scotland one of my friends said I would get tired of castles. 

I never got tired of castles.

I just found different castles more fascinating then others. But for me castles are very inspiring. It's one of my dream shooting locations and a location I use easily when I write fantasy. They are so rich with history. And there's something magical about them, at least to me.

My dream home is a castle. We can all dream. Sometimes it keeps us going.

30 Before 30: Day 21 - The Doug Jones Experience

This is one of the ways in which you might know Doug Jones; a brilliant character actor in a number of beautiful movies including my favorite film of all time, Pan's Labyrinth. This is how I used to know Doug Jones.

Now this is how I know Doug Jones.

Honestly, I am beyond grateful this man is in my life. And truthfully, were it not for his work in many movies that have influenced my life and imagination, it never would have happened. So there are two places I really must thank for this; Hollywood and the Los Angeles Film Studies Center.

Now, right now Sunday feels like the perfect day to write about Doug Jones. Why Sunday, you may ask? Well, for many Sunday is considered a day of rest and a day that we should reflect and make sure to show love to others. Not everybody feels that but many people I know. And Doug shows love for everybody when he meets them. True, he is only a man. But he is one of the most gentle kind and loving people you may ever meet on this earth. 

I tell my friends: "We need more people on this earth like Doug Jones." Anyone who's met him has not disagreed with me. 

When I initially met Doug, I had heard many stories. I really only just met Doug within the past year but if there is any one "name" actor I could ever meet, he has been that one. It's not just because he's in my favorite movie and played some beautiful characters. No, it's because of the man he is. Even if I never got the opportunity to get him into one of my films (though I'm quite sure it will happen in time) I would still want this man in my life. He enriches it and makes it better and I'm sure that's the case with many, if not all of the people he meets. I would still want to be his friend even if I don't work with him. 

Now, I will say this, if you meet Doug Jones, he WILL hug you. If you're comfortable with that, there may be more touching. Nothing creepy, of course. Perhaps, like Doug, we should instead call it petting. He has a special intuition for recognizing when people don't have enough touch in their lives. It's part of his loving and gentle nature.

He's played some very rough characters you wouldn't want to know in real life, which makes sense doing a lot of creature work, but the nature of Doug is nothing like most of the characters he plays. He is such a wonderful and beautiful soul.

If you get a chance, I would urge you to find a way to meet Doug Jones at least once. He's that worth knowing. He has enriched my life and I hope in some way, however great or small, he enriches yours as well.

Me. I'm glad to be able to call Dougie a friend. 

And I hope there will be many, many projects I get to work with him on in the future.

(And maybe if I'm real lucky, someday one of those projects will involve Guillermo Del Toro.)

30 Before 30: Day 16 - Marketing of Love

LOVE

Ah, yes, the thing that makes the world go round. "All you need is love." But what is love?

Let's look at a definition -

According to Google:
1. an intense feeling of deep affection (noun).
2. a deep romantic or sexual attraction to someone (noun).

1. feel a deep romantic or sexual attraction to (someone) (verb).

2. like very much, find pleasure in (verb).

Merriam-Webster:
1a. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

1b. attraction based on sexual desire

1c. affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

2. arm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

3. the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration

4. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

Now, the Greeks had 6 different words for love:

Eros or sexual passion

Philia or deep friendship

Ludus or playful love

Agape or selfless love, a love for everyone

Pragma or longstanding love

Philautia or self-love

Now, let's add one more thing interesting about love that came out of a book written by Gary Chapman that has a certain amount of weight in it's concept: The 5 Love Languages.

He says that there are 5 different types of love languages:

1. Gifts

2. Quality Time

3. Words of Affirmation

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

At one time or another I have received all 5 of these from people, especially my family, and everybody has their own mix of these of what makes them feel loved (I have recently realized how important physical touch is in my life, depending on the people of course).

So what's the point of all this, why did I just give you a bunch of information on the ideas of love?

Well, it's because I'm highly dissatisfied with the way that love has been marketed. I'm sure that if you watch most media you'll notice that love is almost always sold as romantic. 

The problem: this starts to give across the idea that romantic love is the only kind of love.

There is nothing wrong with romance. I myself am a romantic at heart but if the only kind of love is romantic then the only purpose of me talking to any woman on the planet should be to try and start a romantic relationship with her... and where does that leave my mom and sister?

Yeah, exactly. 

It doesn't make sense. Now, there is media that dives into the other side of love but it's not as common and even less commonly promoted. Take Valentine's Day for example. It's a day that celebrates love... but it's become a day that celebrates romantic love. There is no reason it shouldn't be a day to celebrate the love of family and friends.

We all need love. And not just romantic love.

It's fine to seek out romance but that doesn't mean you can't be friends with that person if a romance would not work out. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll be friends if you continue to be attracted in a romantic way, as that usually doesn't work out well, but throwing away a relationship where you have a mutual interest just because there is nothing romantic could be harmful. Even then it takes some discerning as there is always a line and unfortunately today with a highly sexualized media culture and underlying rape culture it is getting infused in the subconscious of men that women are objects, not people.

Relationship. There's another word that always get the wrong meaning. Today it always means romantic. But why can't you have a relationship that's a friend, a family member, an acquaintance. There are different types of relationships.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is we need to re-approach the way we look at love. 

We need to understand what makes us more than just biological creatures. We need to understand that love is about all people, not just one person.

Yes, there is love and it is also found with friends and family.